Dear Diary, sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like I'm so lost, I come to these intersections of things and from there nothing seems to truly be right but just be one question after another. I start wondering am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? Is there another way? I start over calculating things to try and make sense of it all and it then becomes so overwhelming.. I then feel even more blue because I get overwhelmed by the fact that I got I overwhelmed lols.
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It's a heck of a thing and I don't like it. I'm working on staying in the now and standing firm no matter what, but when these situations occur sometimes I don't pass the test and I fall short and I end up feeling even worse for it. I keep reminding myself that its ok," it's a test it just means you gotta work harder and practice it and seeing that it is a test use this failure to prepare for the next time so you may have success." That in itself gets tiring, draining as well to be honest, but somewhere in there I often allow myself to just crash and release. I give in throw in the towel and allow myself to be vulnerable and admit I don't have it all together and it's ok. "it's ok". Why is it so stressful to feel as though things are "ok"...? When isn't the reality that if things are happening and there's nothing you can do about it your only option is to be ok and just let things clear themselves? It amazes me that the very things that "are" are the things that cause so much confusion and frustration at times. "Easier said than done" are the words and boy does it cost a lot just to be OK. - Paris Jaél

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